The Frustrated Writer: Managing Expectations and Overcoming Difficult Emotions
By Gail Tagarro / 20 October 2022 / 6 minutes of reading
The main course to the entrée that was Writer's Connect newsletter 68, today's post explores the many and varied ways that writing can threaten our sanity.
Writing is many things: a creative outlet, a way to connect with others, and a powerful tool for self-discovery ... but rarely is it easy. When it's going well, it feels incredible, and it's hard to think about anything else. But some days (and arguably the majority of them), it's a fight just to convince yourself to sit down and attempt it.
There are several reasons for this, but they often coalesce into a general feeling of 'I don't wanna!'. Understanding what they are and why they come about could be just the thing you need to overcome them.
Thank you to Tyrone Couch for contributing this blog.
The Gap
It's deep, it's dark, and it's always ready for you to fall in.
Let me set the scene for you.
You've just finished a mind-bendingly productive writing session, and you're feeling pretty chuffed about it. You've written some of your best work yet, and you know it. The pieces are finally coming together. You've never been happier to have set upon this path.
After making yourself a hot drink, you collapse into your favourite chair, a satisfied smile on your face. For a moment, you simply sit there, indulging in all you've accomplished.
Your love for literature at an all-time high, you pick up a new book. From the very first line, it has you firmly in its grasp. The first chapter is one of the wildest rides you've ever been on, and you can't wait to read the rest.
Why, then, did it fill you with so much dread?
You put the book down, along with every trace of the confidence and contentment you had just moments before.
You don't want to work on your story anymore.
'The gap' is the palpable sense of distance between your work and that of your favourite writers. As a writer, when you read something exceptional, it's hard not to measure your own work against it. Thoughts like 'my story is awful compared to this' and 'I'll never be that good' are all too common.
The trouble begins when you give into that feeling. It becomes a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy; by allowing yourself to be intimidated by the gap, you don't work as hard to overcome it. In the worst case, you stop trying altogether, thus guaranteeing that you'll never be that good!
Writing is a craft in which you're always learning, and one where the 'novice phase' is really quite long. Even published authors with a catalogue of several books can be considered amateurs. Like any skill, expecting perfection early on is only going to be harmful to your results.
The best way to counter these feelings is to let writers who are further along on the path be inspiring to you, rather than discouraging. Their work is what happened when they kept at it ... so keep at it!
The Point
Do you ever find yourself asking what it is?
You're putting so much time and effort into your writing, but what are you going to get out of it? Hundreds of hours of slaving away, staring at a blank screen, wanting to do just about anything else ... and for what? A finished product that you may not even be able to sell?
This kind of goal-oriented thinking is the source of much frustration, and can be very damaging to a writer's morale. While these concerns are perfectly valid, they're just not that helpful to dwell on. If you're going to succeed as a writer, you need to be in it for more than just hypothetical royalty cheques. Accepting that the odds of you striking it rich are 'not awesome' is an important step in relieving stress and managing expectations as a writer.
None of this is to say you should be discouraged if this is absolutely what you want for yourself! 'The point' is simply that because the payoff is so distant (and far from guaranteed), few can survive on aspirations of fame and fortune alone.
The trick is to remain optimistic about finding success without expecting or relying on it. There's plenty of joy to be found in the journey, so don't let it pass you by!
You don't have to brave the gap alone. After all, your favourite authors certainly didn't! A good editor is a big part of what helps to bridge it, building that first chapter and beyond into something that will inspire (and hopefully not intimidate!) others.
Though somewhat archaic, erstwhile is still frequently used to indicate a trait, occupation, or state of being that was held in the past. The easiest way to understand the word is as a synonym for former(ly).
His erstwhile professor greeted him with a familiar smile. I took a bite of the tomato, which erstwhile I would never have considered.
Quotidian Quote
"You are lucky to be one of those people who wishes to build sand castles with words, who is willing to create a place where your imagination can wander." ~ Anne Lamott
Get Competitive!
A selection of current writing competitions YOU can enter!
Caledonia Novel Award
Format: Novel Theme: Any Word Count: No limit Entry Fee: £25 Prize: £1,500 plus writing course Closes: 01/11/2022
Look over the fine print to make sure that your submission qualifies and you're happy with the terms of engagement.
The Australian Society of Authors has a highly informative post on their website called 'What to look for in a writing competition's T&Cs' . To locate the article, click on 'Home', then 'News'.
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